Reading the Metro yesterday on a work trip up to London town and the cover pages read “WHAT MAKES BRITAIN BRILLIANT”.

Hours away from a 4 day weekend celebrating The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee and seeing Union Jacks all over the streets, you can’t help be more patriotic than normal and get in with the spirit of the celebrations.  With this headline grabber – even though it’s an ad for beer (mind you, a fine celebratory drink for the weekend) – and then 2 full pages with what make Britain brilliant, you can’t help but read it.  Some more on the funny side and made me laugh out loud on the train and tube, which is always a good sign.

So here they are in ascending order…

1. Marmite.  Mmm…yuck.
2. Our devotion to our wonderfully gripping soap operas.
3. Vivienne Westwood’s heels.  It’s worth the pain.
4. The Earl of Sandwich’s groundbreaking concept of putting a savoury filling between two pieces of bread.
5. Glastonbury – mud and all.
6. Our modesty – we never boast how great we are, apart from today.
7. The pound and our reluctance to adopt the Euro.
8. The best selling music artists in the world, are our very own; The Beatles.
9. Our politeness – no matter how irritated we get, we are always too British to say anything.
10. Kate Middleton and her sister.
11. The Great British Summer (don’t forget the brolly).
12. Driving on the left (the right way to do it).
13. No matter where you are in Britain, you’re never far from a pub.
14. Any excuse for a cup of tea.
15. Curry, the unofficial national dish, with a pint of cold lager.
16. We don’t moan because we are miserable, we moan because it makes us happy.
17. Our international language.  Travelling abroad is a doodle.
18. The Queen and her graceful wave.
19. The Great British countryside, when you’re not stuck behind a tractor.
20. Freedom of speech.
21. Deep fried food, Fish, sausages, Mars bars…  absolutely anything.
22. Some of the very best museums and galleries on the planet.  Free.
23. The national tendency to cheer the underdog and ridicule the mighty.
24. We apologise way too much.  Sorry about that.
25. Crisps.  We eat more of them, in more varieties, than the whole of Europe put together.
26. Shakespeare.  When thou can understandeth it.
27. Sir David Attenborough and his soothing voice on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
28. British strawberries, perfect with cream.
29. Our cobbled streets, watch your heels ladies.
30. Chips with fish, or cheese, or beans, or pies, or steaks, or curries or in a sandwich.  Chips with pretty much everything.
31. We know the importance of a good queue.
32. Beans on toast, brilliant no matter what your age.
33. Court room wigs.  Our great way of making very smart people look very silly.
34. Pantomimes.  The jokes never seem to get old.
35. No matter how cold it gets, it will never keep us from our nights out.
36. HP sauce.  Chuck it on everything.
37. The 3pm Saturday kick off.
38. Cream teas.  In case you are wondering, Cornish is jam first, Devon is cream first.
39. Jellied eels.  And jelly.  Though not necessarily together.
40. Beer gardens.  Because we love our beer and we love our gardens.
41. Saying ‘I’m fine’ no matter how we feel.
42. A love of mowing the lawn.
43. Plugs with switches.  Amazingly nowhere else seems to do this.
44. Tolerating nearly everything, but banning hosepipes.
45. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch in North Wales.  Just wait till your sat nav tries that one.
46. World Cup, 1966.  We’ll be clinging to it forever.
47. Egg and soldiers.  Those brave and tasty souls.
48. The BBC.  The only time you’re not constantly reaching for the fast-forward button.
49. Our British seasides.  Watch out for the seagulls.
50. Archie Gemmill’s goal against Holland.
51. Prime Minister’s Question Time.  A no-holds-barred, public bashing for whoever’s in charge.  Every week.
52. The Full English breakfast.  Served all day.
53. The weather.  Although we get less of it than almost anywhere, it’s still the major talking point.
54. The 99 flake.
55. Morris dancing.  We know how to move it 15th Century style.
56. Allotments.  Our very own little patch of the countryside.
57. Our love of anything pickled.
58. Carry On films.  Oooer Missus.
59. Our talent.  Be it our artists, musicians, directors, actors or just dancing dogs.
60. Carlsberg.

Pure genius.  A great ad, and you actually finish reading the ad thinking why not – so it works!  Clever, funny and makes you proud.  We invented HP Sauce!  There’s something in the list for absolutely everyone.

Have a great long (in the UK) Jubliee weekend.  And no mention of running!